We are more likely to believe that things are hopeless when we are lonely. When someone is lonely, their neural responses to positive images and events get suppressed, so the world is perceived through a negative filter. In fact, studies now show that a lonely brain is structurally and biochemically different. Time spent alone and feeling lonely can lead to depression. Cacioppo explains, “The absence of social connection triggers the same, primal alarm bells as hunger, thirst and physical pain.” Being Alone/Lonely Can Lead to Depression Feeling lonely is actually painful on a physical level, as well as emotional level. Feeling lonely can trigger feelings of being unloved or unlikeable, which can lead us to turn on ourselves. Neuroscientist John Cacioppo, who has made a career out of studying loneliness, defines loneliness as “perceived social isolation, or the discrepancy between what you want from your social relationships and your perception of those relationships.” In this sense, loneliness is not defined by the amount of time we spend alone, but rather by how we feel about the time we spend alone. It is important to distinguish between time spent happily alone and time spent feeling lonely. Being Alone Can Lead to Painful Loneliness In this sense, we are our own worst enemy. At these times, the inner critic tells us that something is wrong with us and we don’t belong around other people. The “critical inner voices” tend to be at their worst when we are not only alone, but are also feeling lonely. These “critical inner voices” tend to multiply when we are left alone with our thoughts. We all have an inner critic, a nasty coach that lives inside our heads and seeks any opportunity to criticize us. Isolation can be the perfect breeding ground for negative, self-critical thoughts. Carter, “By spending time with yourself and gaining a better understanding of who you are and what you desire in life, you’re more likely to make better choices about who you want to be around.” Cons of Being Alone Being Alone Makes Us Vulnerable to Our Inner Criticsīeing alone with our thoughts isn’t always a good thing. Introverts tend to have high levels of both empathy and self-awareness, two qualities that contribute to healthy relationships with others. Alone time can also help us understand others better. Furthermore, time alone allows us to appreciate our time with others more, rather than taking it for granted or feeling overwhelmed by it. Maintaining a certain level of independence helps keep the spark alive in a relationship. For starters, differentiation (being a separate, autonomous individual) and linkage (being emotionally and physically close) are essential ingredients for a healthy relationship.

There are several reasons why spending some time alone can actually improve our relationships. Additionally, the lack of interruption from others allows us to reflect and think differently, leading to more creative “meta-cognitions.” Being Alone Can Actually Strengthen Relationships with Others Human beings in general, and creativity in particular, are sensitive to criticism from others, which is one reason why so many of us are able to think more freely and express ourselves more clearly when we are alone. Studies are now showing that people are actually more likely to come up with their best ideas on their own, rather than during group brainstorming sessions. Being Alone Boosts CreativityĬreativity tends to flourish in solitude. Even the ping of a text message or an email notification can throw off our concentration and reduce productivity. Carter, “You are better able to concentrate, which will help you get more work done in a shorter amount of time.” Small interruptions from coworkers or family members can disrupt our trains of thought and make it difficult to get back into a project.

“When you remove as many distractions and interruptions as you can from your day,” says Dr. Let’s face it, people can be pretty distracting. It’s an opportunity to revitalize your mind and body at the same time.” Being Alone Increases Productivity Being by yourself with no distractions gives you the chance to clear your mind, focus, and think more clearly. Sherrie Bourg Carter explains, “Constantly being ‘on’ doesn’t give your brain a chance to rest and replenish itself. While social interactions are crucial to certain areas of brain activity, time alone is necessary for our brains to unwind and recharge. Pros of Being Alone Being Alone Allows Our Brains to Recharge Let’s explore the pros and cons of being alone. Being alone can offer a rich psychological experience, but too much isolation can have a negative impact on both one’s physical and mental health. Roughly 50% of the population can be categorized as introverts, meaning they get the most value in life out of time spent on their own. Some people naturally prefer time alone and that can be fine. Isolation and Loneliness, Self Development

To be alone with you meaning